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Who am I to say that life is hard? but then, it is. No need to compare it to anyone else's. when I am alone, my mind is thrust back into the remembrance that the father I loved is gone, more than likely to never come back, and all because of an accident that could have happened to anyone. He's still here, but it's strange - he's different. No more guitar, dulcimer, poetry, anything. I'm focusing on myself.
Such a lack of eloquence, this life just dilutes my mind. Not to say that mine is anything miraculous, but that it simply is too stimulating perhaps. People so often put such an emphasis on social life, but this is too social. No time to myself, not time to think or discover what it is that....oh I don't know.
Estrella War sucked, Ricky just made me feel like shit the whole time.
fuck you,
I want my money back.
I hate dorms.
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Oh Xanga -
forgive me for abandoning you.....
dusty on the floor,
pages yellow and thinned behind the dresser.
stains under peeling white paint -
bursting with age and
the things I have told you.
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| right now I feel so much at peace,
so tranquil.
I don't know whats causing it -
but
I hope it never goes away. | | |
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Empty and bland -
but there is a poetry reading tomorrow 
and I am going to read two of my poems 
yes yes yes there is, yes I will I will I willll | | |
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These eyes,
O these eyes that
you have given me
to see
with,
what is their purpose?
To take in the shards
and shells;
those stinging imprints -
that gore deep
the chasms . . . .
The hem of stainless tapestries,
heal me.
We are lost, you know. We all are lost in ourselves, in eachother, in the wrong places.The Lord grants and curses, though it seems his tribulations are given to those he trusts most.
We are lost in our television shows -
1 - "I like sex"
2 - "Oh me too lets dance around that for a half an hour"
3 - "Gay gay gay lesbian gay"
1 - "That reminds me of racial slurs and disrepecting men.."
2 - "AND WOMEN!"
3 - "Roll credits.................sex"
We are lost in our own desires for things we don't shouldn't needen't seek after,
And I cry,
because truly I am
No better
no smarter
And lost
perhaps in being lost I.....
perhaps.
End.
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